Awakened Awareness: Discovering the Self Beyond the Story [Episode 44]

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

There are many different ways to understand and speak about what spiritual transformation, or enlightenment, is all about, and how it works. On one hand, it’s a very simple shift. On the other, it contains enormous complexity, with many layers and dimensions.

One of the most common metaphors we hear for this transformation is awakening—waking up. It’s the image I’ve chosen to describe the work we’re doing here. And, of course, it’s everywhere. The idea that enlightenment or transformation is a form of awakening is deeply woven into our culture.

The Dramatic Shift of Waking Up
This image of awakening is so potent because it captures the dramatic nature of the shift. At its essence, spiritual illumination is as profound as waking up from sleep.

Now, often we wake up from sleep gradually, without drama. Every morning we don’t exclaim, “Oh my God, I’m awake!” And yet, when you reflect on it, one moment you’re unconscious—perhaps even caught in a vivid dream—and then suddenly you’re wide awake in an entirely different world.

The dream, with all of its emotion and intensity, instantly vanishes. What felt so real ceases to exist, and you find yourself back in this world—the familiar world you live in every day. That shift from asleep to awake mirrors the extraordinary and complete transformation that spiritual illumination brings.

This metaphor also points to another dimension: when you were asleep, you weren’t in the real world. You weren’t conscious, you weren’t awake. You were lost in a dream world spun by the mind, which seemed real until the moment of waking.

Spiritual awakening has that same quality. It’s the moment you realize, I thought I was in reality, but now I see reality. Suddenly, you wake up to what’s actually true. You begin to see things as they really are.

Awareness Discovering Awareness
This metaphor of awakening can refer to many things. But one powerful way to understand it is this: consciousness awakens to itself. Awareness discovers awareness. Consciousness discovers consciousness.

And in that discovery, you discover yourself—who you really are beyond appearances, beyond body and mind, beyond every concept, idea, feeling, or sensation you’ve ever had about yourself.

You realize that you are not the body, the thoughts, the feelings, the stories, or the experiences. You are the one who is aware of all of those things—but who is not itself a “thing.”

You are the awareness, the consciousness. You are the knower of all that arises, yet untouched by it. And in that discovery, you recognize that this awareness—the essence of who you are—is infinite.

It cannot be located or confined. It is everywhere at once.

The Discovery of Awakened Consciousness
What I’m describing here is one way to speak about what I mean by awakened consciousness. Those of you who have been with me for a while have heard me say many times that this path is really all about the discovery of awakened consciousness. One simple way to understand it is this: awakened consciousness is consciousness awake to itself, awareness that knows itself, that recognizes its own nature.

I use the words consciousness and awareness often, so I want to pause and clarify what I mean. We are so accustomed to thinking of everything as a thing. Whenever we encounter a word, we instinctively look for something it represents, some object to grasp with the mind. We relate to everything as an object, because in order to think about it, we must make it into an object in our minds—or so it seems.

So when we hear about consciousness or awareness, we may find ourselves puzzled: What exactly is consciousness? What is awareness? In spiritual circles, we often imagine them as some kind of ineffable substance, or a subtle field of energy that pervades everything. Especially with the word consciousness, there is this connotation: “Consciousness is all there is. Consciousness is everywhere.”

When we hear these ideas, we may picture a sparkly, subtle field that we can tune into or become aware of. And indeed, you can have experiences of such a field. You can sense subtle energies. There are many kinds of spiritual experiences that feel like tapping into a vast, vibrant substance or current of energy. But that is not what I mean when I speak about consciousness or awareness. What I point to is something entirely different.

What Consciousness Really Means
When I use the term consciousness or awareness—or when any mystic or teacher of enlightenment speaks about it—we’re pointing to something very similar to the way scientists describe consciousness. What we are pointing to is subjectivity itself. In other words, interiority.

I know some of you may glaze over when you hear technical-sounding terms. What is he talking about? But it’s actually very simple. Consciousness, or awareness, is simply the experiencer—the capacity to have experiences.

Imagine, for a moment, a person walking down a crowded street. From the outside, what do you see? A body in motion. Eyes looking, mouth speaking, words coming out. That’s the physical event. But we would all agree there’s more happening.

Inside, there is the experience of being a person. There’s the inner world: every encounter with each passerby, the flow of thoughts, the small decisions—whether to cross the street or not. There’s not only this inner world, but also the sheer capacity to have an inner world at all. The pure experience of being alive. The subject.

And if it ever seems complicated, just return to this simple truth: the subject is the one who is having the experience. It is the ability to experience. It is the experiencer itself. That is consciousness. That is awareness.

Always Already Here
And here’s the beautiful simplicity: consciousness is always here. Awareness is always here. It is not distant, it is not hidden in some subtle or mystical field that we need to discover. Pure consciousness may sound lofty, but it is nothing other than the simple fact that we are always having experiences.

Except in the depth of dreamless sleep, experience is constant. Thoughts, feelings, encounters—they never stop. And all of it is happening because you are conscious, because you are aware. Consciousness, awareness, is always here.

But here is the great paradox. In ordinary human life, consciousness itself is almost never recognized. There may be brief glimpses, but we don’t realize what we are glimpsing. Most of the time, we never become aware of awareness itself.

Which means this: in our ordinary, unenlightened lives, we never once truly experience ourselves. We are always only aware of the objects within consciousness, the things that arise. Rarely, if ever, do we awaken to the subject—the consciousness that we are.

Objects Within Consciousness
What do I mean by that? You’re aware of other people, which you experience. We largely experience events and objects outside ourselves—the concrete, tangible world. Cars, buildings, furniture, bicycles, sunsets, trees, the beauty of nature, the vastness of the ocean. Life comes to us as a stream of encounters with these outer things.

Then there are the internal experiences: the thoughts that arise in your mind, the fantasies and images, the projections of the future and memories of the past. There are feelings of all kinds, including the profound, subtle spiritual feelings that can move us to tears and awaken love, gratitude, and reverence. Yet all of these are still feelings—things—objects arising in consciousness.

Even the self that most of us take ourselves to be—the self that comes to mind when I say, think about yourself—is also an object in consciousness. If I say, become aware of yourself right now, what usually appears is an image of the body, a mental picture of what we look like. Often that image is idealized in some way. We see ourselves at our imagined best or at our imagined worst, depending on mood and bias. The ego plays both sides: the negative story of the self and the positive story of the self. Rarely is it neutral or clear.

Along with the body image comes a cluster of feelings—the sense of being me. Then there are the thoughts and stories about who we are: our accomplishments, life experiences, values, and priorities. All of these weave together into a narrative of self.

When people say, I really know who I am now, they usually mean they have clarified their values, that life’s challenges have tested and shaped them. They’ve taken stands, made difficult choices, and discovered strength and consistency. All of that is meaningful. It’s a vital part of human self-development.

But if you look closely, all of this is still made up of things we know about ourselves. It’s still objects in consciousness. And for most of us, that’s as far as the journey of self-discovery goes. It can feel clarifying, and for a human life, it is an achievement. Many people never reach that kind of clarity, or they come to it late in life, often in the final chapters. At such times we may say, Now I know who I really am. Now I see what matters most.

And yet, even then, we are still knowing about the self—what the mind can describe, what feelings can convey, what our stories can hold. All of it remains in the realm of things.

Who Is the Self? Who Am I?
If you look at the great wisdom traditions, the great enlightenment traditions, they often return to one big question: Who is the Self—with a capital S? Awakening is described as the discovery of the true self.

Now, I realize some traditions, especially within Buddhism, emphasize the teaching of no-self. And yes, that perspective deeply relates to everything I’m saying here. But for now, let’s set that layer aside. We’ll save the exploration of emptiness and no-self for another time.

Mystics throughout the ages have told us: you don’t really know yourself. You may know many things about yourself, but there is a deeper, truer self. What this always points to is the recognition that we are not the things we know. We are the one who knows them. We are the one who experiences them, but who is not itself a thing.

Awakening to the Experiencer
Understood in this way, spiritual awakening is awakening to the experiencer—the subject of all experience, the knower of every object. Consciousness, or awareness, is always right here. It is the awareness having every experience you are having now. It is the consciousness hearing the very words I am speaking in this moment.

And notice, this is not some mystical substance hidden far away, waiting at the end of a long spiritual journey. It is as close and immediate as this: simply become aware of the one who is hearing these words right now.

The discovery of consciousness, of awareness, of the subject, is a very simple shift. It is simply noticing what has always been here in every moment. And yet, as simple as it is, it is also a tremendously significant discovery.

It can be overwhelming, even arresting. It can stop us in our tracks. For when we discover awareness, we realize it is not located anywhere. It is not bound to the body or mind. Our true nature is unconstrained, unbounded, infinitely vast.

In this discovery, we shift from experiencing ourselves as time-bound, skin-encapsulated creatures, living out temporary stories with beginnings and ends, to recognizing that we are vast, infinite, timeless beingness itself. Awareness.

How to Become Aware of Awareness
How do we become aware of awareness? How does consciousness come to know itself? This awakening can unfold in many different ways.

If, in meditation, you steadfastly refuse to identify with thoughts—refuse to be carried away by the mind—you begin to carve out a space of freedom. And then the question arises: What else can you be aware of? Gradually, awareness turns back upon itself, because when everything else is released, what remains is simply awareness becoming aware of itself.

This is one way of practicing that opens the mystery of awareness to itself, right now. And even though humanity carries a long history, lifetimes upon lifetimes, of paying attention only to objects, it is still possible to turn toward the subject. Because awareness is not far away. It is closer than close. It is right here, waiting to be noticed.

And the profound truth is this: you can turn to it in this very moment. You can do it.

Guided Contemplation: Turning Toward Awareness in Daily Life
I want to see if, in a more non-meditative way, we can all begin to notice what I’m pointing to. Right now, outside of formal meditation—just sitting here, listening to this workshop—I invite you to look around.

Wherever you are, indoors or outdoors, let your gaze fall on something in your field of vision. It could be a piece of furniture, a tree, anything at all. Look at it with care. Really notice the details. Take in its contours, its shape, its colors, the subtle variations in light and texture. Become fully present to this object in consciousness.

Now, as you continue looking, I invite you to shift your attention. Rather than focusing only on the object, bring your awareness to the awareness of the object.

I don’t mean you should think about who or what is aware. I don’t mean to bring another idea to mind about awareness. I mean directly turn your attention toward awareness itself—the awareness of the object. The object is still there, present in consciousness. You don’t need to push it away or try to make it disappear. Simply allow your attention to rest on awareness of it.

Don’t worry about whether you’re doing it right. Don’t overthink or judge. Just follow the instructions and try. That’s all practice ever is: a simple experiment, free of the inner critic. Try it once. Try it again. Try it in a slightly different way.

Returning to the Object, Then Back to Awareness
Now, bring your attention fully back to the object. And then, shift your gaze to another object—a different part of the room, a new form, a new presence. Once again, study it closely. Notice the colors, textures, and shapes. Notice the way the light plays across it, the shadows it casts, what it seems to be made of. Give it your full attention.

And again, shift your attention back to the awareness of the object. To the awareness that is perceiving, knowing, and experiencing all of this.
And if anyone here is visually impaired, you can do the same practice with another sense. Choose a bodily sensation, or even an imagined object, and study it closely. Then shift attention toward the awareness of that sensation.

Let your attention rest, not on the object, but on the subject of your experience. You are still perceiving the object—something is still appearing in consciousness—but now your primary attention is resting on the awareness that perceives the subject, the experiencer.

Awakening Is Simple, Here, Waiting, and Available
What was that like? Don’t worry about whether you did it right, or if nothing seemed to happen, or if it just felt confusing. That doesn’t matter.

The interesting thing about all the direct awakening practices is this: on the one hand, I am doing everything I can to make awakening as simple, accessible, and down to earth as possible. My hope is that you can feel from me that this is not difficult, that it is doable, and that you can enter into it regardless of what your past experiences in spiritual practice have been.

Too often, spirituality has been made so mystical, so lofty, and so unreachable that many of us feel, Well, I don’t know if I’ll ever touch any of that. But at least I can meditate to feel more peaceful, more centered, less reactive.

That’s a worthy intention, of course. But what I want you to hear is that enlightenment, awakening, is real and it is available.

Think about it. Why would this extraordinary human potential, this life-altering, world-changing superconsciousness, exist if it were not something we could access? It wouldn’t make sense.

This is my assertion, and also my lived experience—both in my own practice and in teaching others. Awakening is not reserved for a rare few. It is here, waiting, available.

So, you need to feel that, hold that, allow that possibility consciousness to really open up inside you, in the context of humanity's historical quest for enlightenment, and what a big deal it's been and has held to be. So let’s see if we can hold those two truths side-by-side in our practice.