In This Episode…

“Many of us begin the spiritual path because we simply want to feel better. And this desire to feel good can take us some distance on the path. It will get you meditating daily, it will get you into workshops and retreats, and you’ll start to grow and change and evolve as a result. But, ultimately, spiritual awakening requires much more from us. It requires us to let go of the need to feel any particular way. It’s not possible to truly awaken, to really go all the way on our path when we’re trying to get there just for ourself. And so, in the end it all points us to, how do we awaken to a greater motive for being on the path that’s not about us, that’s connected to something much greater than our personal happiness.” —Craig Hamilton

Many of us begin the spiritual journey with a heartfelt longing—to feel more peaceful, more whole, more connected to something greater. And often, spiritual practice delivers on that promise. It brings relief, insight, and a sense of calm amidst the storms of life.

But what if the very practices meant to awaken us are quietly being used to help us avoid the uncomfortable, messy work of transformation? In “Obstacles to Awakening – Part Three” Craig explores the subtle and often unconscious phenomenon known as spiritual bypassing—when we use meditation, teachings, or spiritual states to sidestep pain, unresolved issues, or the real work of growing up.

Rather than judging these tendencies, Craig opens up a space of inquiry. What happens when the longing to feel good gives way to something greater—a calling to serve the whole, to be an instrument of awakening in a world that so deeply needs it. And in that moment, our practice takes on a new quality.
If you’ve ever wondered whether your practice is leading you deeper—or just helping you escape—this episode offers a powerful and compassionate lens for reflection.

For a deeper experience of Craig’s approach to meditation, consider joining our Awakened Life membership program which offers in-depth guidance, a meditation workshop, and a live online retreat with Craig. Register today to receive your first month for 50% off at AwakenedLifeMembership.com.

If you’re interested in exploring more of Craig’s meditation experiments, you’re invited to tune in to a 90-minute online workshop Craig will be hosting called Meditation 2.0 – The Miracle of Direct Awakening. Register for free at FreeMeditationWorkshop.com.

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

The term spiritual bypassing started being discussed about three decades ago. Essentially, I think what happened was that there were a lot of people practicing meditation, and many of them were also doing psychotherapy. It was the early period of the transpersonal psychology movement, which aimed to bridge Eastern and Western methods of transformation.

A group of transpersonal psychotherapists began noticing that many of their clients who were coming to them for therapy were also deeply engaged in meditation. And they saw a pattern: a lot of these people seemed to be using meditation as a way to avoid growing up—to avoid dealing with their issues, facing their unprocessed traumas, and taking the major developmental steps necessary to mature into full adulthood.

In a sense, the original idea behind spiritual bypassing was: Oh, look—people think they can escape the difficulties of life, the pain and challenges of growth, by practicing these spiritual techniques. That’s my understanding of where the notion first took shape. Over time, though, the discussion broadened to include all the different ways we use spirituality or religion to avoid the reality of life.

Spiritual Bypassing Examples

Let’s look at some examples of spiritual bypassing—because you’ve no doubt seen others do this, and maybe even caught yourself doing it. Of course, it’s always easier to spot spiritual pathologies, or any pathologies, in other people than in ourselves. But you’ll probably recognize some of these in others or yourself.

1. Meditating to Avoid Complexity and Discomfort
One example is when people use meditation as a way to transcend complexity—as a way to numb out or distance themselves from life’s discomforts. When things feel overwhelming, they might think, I’ll just go meditate so I can get to that calm, peaceful place. And that becomes a way to avoid difficult feelings or situations that actually need to be addressed.

2. Getting High on Workshops and Retreats
Another form is attending spiritual workshops, sitting with spiritual teachers, going on retreats—not with the intent to awaken more deeply, but with the goal of getting high. It’s using spiritual practice as a kind of drug to enter higher states of consciousness where we feel wonderful. But often, it’s done to avoid simply surrendering to what is, to being with ourselves as we are, and to sidestep the more challenging work that spiritual growth demands: facing into our unconscious ego tendencies, evolving beyond them, and developing more mature psychological, emotional, moral, and spiritual structures of consciousness.

3. Using Spiritual Ideas to Avoid Responsibility
There’s also the way we use spiritual beliefs to bypass real problems. Let’s say something’s not working in your life—your relationship is in trouble, your finances are off track, or you’re struggling in your career. You might cling to spiritual ideas like: Everything happens for a reason, or I can’t really know what the divine plan is. Or, maybe the universe is trying to teach me something. You might say, This is part of my healing. Or, My life’s a mess which must mean I’m really transforming and awakening.

I’ve seen that one a lot, even in committed meditators and sincere spiritual practitioners. When things go wrong, instead of turning toward the situation and asking, Am I making a mistake? Do I need to take responsibility here?, they default to, This must be happening because I’m waking up. Now, there can be a layer of truth in any of those beliefs. But often, they become invitations to bypass—to avoid facing and working with what really needs attention.

4. Maintaining Our Spiritual Self Image
Another example: we’re hit with difficulty, and instead of getting curious about the source of the problem or how we might need to change, we think, I should stay positive. Put on a happy face. That’s what a spiritual person does—be happy no matter what. So we suppress the truth of our experience in order to maintain a spiritual image.

Each of these examples is a kind of detour—a way of skirting around something we actually need to go straight through. That’s the metaphor: not to take the off-ramp, but to go all the way through.

We all know we have stuff—things that trigger us, habitual ways of relating that aren’t healthy or aligned with our awakening process. And I think, deep down, all of us have a part that we want to bypass. I just want to get past all that. And in a way, that desire is part of our spiritual aspiration—to transcend our limitations, to evolve beyond those things.

But if we want to truly awaken, we have to be willing to face everything as it is—not just the light, but also the shadow—and walk the path all the way through.

The Difference between Spiritual Awakening and Spiritual Bypassing

That’s why this is such a subtle and important area to look into. Because from one point of view, spiritual awakening is the ultimate bypass, but in the best sense. It’s the rocket fuel that launches us. It gives us escape velocity—lifting us out of the gravitational pull of the past and into an entirely new relationship with life.

There’s something powerful and healthy in that movement. All of us, on the spiritual path, want to be propelled beyond the limitations that hold us back. And that longing is part of the promise of awakening and enlightenment. That’s a good thing.

But sometimes, in reaction to the idea of spiritual bypassing, people swing too far the other way. They suggest that we should just stay in the raw, messy truth of our unevolved humanity as if spiritual authenticity means giving up on transformation. The implication becomes: You’re never really going to change all that much, so just learn to live with your brokenness.

I don’t fall into that camp. A lot of people who write and speak about spiritual bypassing seem to take that view—but I don’t.

Evolving Beyond Bypassing and Brokenness

The more essential question is: How do we relate to the fact that we all have aspects of ourselves that still need to evolve? That we’re often unaware of many of our habits and unconscious tendencies? And how do we do that without either bypassing them or getting stuck in them?

There’s a middle way here—where we become more conscious of our patterns without fear, where we’re not using spirituality to escape, but we’re also not afraid to admit, Yes, I still try to bypass all the time. Maybe I’ve had a hard day and all I want is to put on a spiritual audio to feel better. That’s so common on the spiritual path. We all do it.

But that moment isn’t about me pursuing awakening. It’s about using spirituality as a kind of drug—a way to self-soothe, to feel better, to get some relief. Just recognizing that is important. To be able to look at it without shame, without fear. To say, Okay, I see that tendency. That doesn’t mean I can’t be free. It just means I’m human.

Can We Be Free Now Despite our Egoic Tendencies?

That kind of relationship with our ego tendencies—honest, unflinching, compassionate—is a huge part of how we both wake up and grow up. And it’s essential to the practice of Direct Awakening that I teach. Because the real question is: Can we be free now? Not after we fix ourselves. Not after we’ve transcended every last bit of ego. But now.

Being free now doesn’t mean those old tendencies won’t still arise. It doesn’t mean you won’t be challenged by them. It doesn’t mean they don’t keep recurring. How can you be free even with them arising? By being aware of them, making room for them, facing them, and then you have the freedom to not be trapped by them, to not be in their grip any longer.

So as we sit with this, as we contemplate it, we begin to notice something sobering and humbling: In so many ways, I’m always just trying to feel better. And even though I know better, even though I’ve heard the teachings, practiced the methods, when I look honestly at how I relate to my spiritual life, I see that, deep down, I’m still often trying to use it to reach some other shore, some promised land of peace or contentment or fulfillment.

Cultivating a Motivation Beyond Feeling Better

As we begin to see that this impulse—to feel better—is so fundamental to our humanity, we also start to recognize how deeply it has woven itself into the way we relate to spirituality and practice. And in that recognition, a new question begins to emerge: What could a different motivation be? How might I transform the very basis of why I practice? How could I shift my intention for awakening to something that has nothing to do with just making me feel better?

Often, when we start looking for this deeper motivation, we can feel a bit empty-handed. And this becomes more apparent over time. We start to notice: Where would I even look for a higher motive? There’s something curious that we’ve observed on the spiritual path—namely, that personal motivation can take us a fair distance. Even the desire to feel good can get us pretty far. It can inspire us to meditate every day, to attend workshops and retreats, to do spiritual work. And real growth, real transformation, can happen from that.

So it’s not that personal motivation is inherently ineffective. It does move us forward.

But in the end, spiritual awakening requires something much bigger. It asks for the ultimate letting go—of needing to feel a certain way, of needing life to conform to our preferences. And that level of surrender, that depth of release, is very difficult, if not impossible, to reach when our motivation is still rooted in personal gain.

Even if we say, I want to know the truth so I can live a more conscious life, or I want to be my best self so I can act with integrity and live my values, those are noble intentions. They’re not just about feeling good—they’re about living rightly, living well. But even those can reach a limit. They tend not to be enough, because they still revolve around me.

Eventually, we’re pointed toward a deeper question: What would it mean to awaken to a greater motive?

Awakening to a Greater Motive

By a “greater motive,” I mean a motivation for practice—a reason for walking the path—that’s not personal. That’s not about me.

Here’s one way to look at it: Imagine that I, as the central character in my spiritual journey, am no longer at the center of the story. I’m not really at the center of the stage in that drama that I’ve mapped out for myself. The point of the path is no longer about what’s going to happen for me, or what I’m going to achieve or gain. I’m not the star of the show anymore.

We have to want to be free for a reason big enough—vast enough—that it transcends any form of personal desire. Because personal motivation, even when well-intentioned, tends to loop back into spiritual bypassing. Almost any attempt to do this for ourselves inevitably contains some subtle narrative of wanting to feel better in the end, to get somewhere, to arrive.

So how do we awaken this greater motivation? How do we begin to ground ourselves in a reason for practice that’s no longer centered on self?

It’s often work we haven’t been invited to do yet—not because we’re resistant to it. When we hear this invitation, many of us do feel an inner resonance, a connection. We feel a sense of yes stirring within us.

Because while many of us may have begun our path with the desire to feel better, that’s rarely the only reason we’re here.

Most of us are also here because we long to connect with something greater than ourselves. We want to live in alignment with the whole. We want to be of service to something deeper. We want to be connected to the whole, we want to be in service to the whole, we want to live a life that’s in alignment with a deeper order. That’s all part of the path.

And for some of us, that longing takes theistic form. I want to know God. I want to make room for the divine to express itself through me. I want to help create a world that expresses that divinity.

Whether or not we resonate with the notion of God or divinity or the sacred, we can still feel the pull toward the whole—toward something greater than our small self. And we recognize that living a life aligned with that, in service to that, is what would give my life meaning.

The only meaningful life would have to be one that’s not just about me.

We live in a culture so centered around the glorification of the self, the fulfillment of the self. And we’re all subtly influenced by the idea that there isn’t anything more to life than the wonderfully super-empowered individual who’s got it all and is happy all the time. But spiritually, we sense there is more—and we’re aiming for that something more.

I’m naming that these two things are going on in us simultaneously. On one hand, there’s a deeply rooted tendency to just try to feel better. It’s embedded in our psyches. But on the other hand, there’s also a spiritual drive, a self-transcending drive. A drive to participate in the greater event, the great project of consciousness awakening, however we personally conceptualize that.

The question becomes: How do we bring that higher drive front and center? How do we begin to cultivate it, strengthen it, respond to it and truly root our practice in that?

How do we Cultivate Enlightened Motivation?

So how do we cultivate what we might call an enlightened motivation—an intention greater than anything merely personal? There are a number of elements to this.

And it’s not a new idea. This was well known in the great spiritual traditions. In some of those traditions, students and monks were asked to spend countless hours cultivating right motivation for practice.

Some of the elements they worked with—many of which are still alive and relevant for us today—included recognizing the true significance of the opportunity to awaken, and understanding the profound impact that awakening can have on the whole: on humanity, on consciousness itself.

1. The Rare Conditions for Awakening
For instance, we can take a moment to really look at your life in the context of everyone else alive on the planet today. How many people truly have the opportunity to awaken?

By that, I mean: how many have the free time, the relative physical safety, the education and intelligence to think deeply and reflect on what the path asks of us? How many have the emotional maturity, the cognitive development, the supportive relationships, and the access to authentic spiritual teachings that can truly awaken and liberate?

It’s not a huge percentage of humanity. I haven’t done the math—and I’m not sure how you even would.

2. This Precious Opportunity & Obligation
For those of us who do have the opportunity, it’s a rare opportunity. It still is—even with the internet, even with the incredible access to information that some of us now enjoy. In the vast context of humanity, this is a precious opening. And with that opportunity, of course, comes a profound obligation.

When we’ve been given the gift of being someone who can engage in spiritual practice—who has the time, the freedom, the capacity to be a sincere aspirant—there’s a very real sense in which the world needs us to do it. Humanity needs us to do it. Life needs us to do it. Consciousness itself needs us to do it.

And to be clear, this isn’t about being the “chosen people.” I don’t think most of us believe there’s some divine chooser out there who nominated us. But you can see where that idea may have come from. Because however it happened, this is your lot. This is my lot. I’m one of the ones who is interested in this, who is drawn to this, who is engaging this.

And ultimately, it’s not really about me. It’s about me doing this.

3. The Global Impact of Awakening
Let’s talk a little bit about the impact this can have.

When we look around at the world—the suffering, the ways in which human beings remain so self-destructive and so destructive to one another—the cruelty, the violence, the hostility, the brute self-centeredness that still drives so much of human behavior—it’s heartbreaking.

And yet, when a person begins to wake up, they begin to wake up out of those unconscious habits and drives. We start to awaken into a different order of living, a different consciousness, where we have the potential not to be participants in the problem, but to become participants in the solution.

We begin to contribute to the emergence of higher consciousness, deeper values, and a fundamentally different way of being in the world.

When You’re Connected to these Higher Drives, How You Feel Matters a Lot Less

So again, that potential to participate in something greater calls us beyond ourselves.

When you begin to connect with these higher drives, and there are many layers to them, though I’m only naming a few, you start to feel a shift. Suddenly, it doesn’t matter so much how I feel. Who cares if I feel good today or bad today?

I’m doing this work because it matters. I’m doing this work because of its great significance and because of my great opportunity to participate in it.

It doesn’t matter even if I had to go through a very difficult time, struggling in meditation and in life for five years. As long as I was truly doing the work of the path, doing my practice, and participating in this greater unfolding, wouldn’t that be more important than whether or not I got to feel good along the way?

Of course it would—if we can truly root ourselves in that understanding. Then it doesn’t really matter how I’m doing today, whether I had a good meditation or not, or whether I’m feeling inspired this week or not.

I spoke about some different ways we can begin to connect with, access, and anchor ourselves in a greater motivation. But how each of us does that and the ways we conceptualize it may look very different from person to person.

What is YOUR Higher Drive?

I want to invite you now to reflect a little on this: What is the higher motivation for your spiritual practice?

What is the most big-hearted, transpersonal motivation—the deeper drive—that’s already part of what’s moving you on the path?

I’m not saying, Oh, you’re just trying to feel good and we’re here to shake you out of it. No. I’m acknowledging that all of us, as human beings, are trying to feel good. That’s part of being human. And at the same time, those of us on a spiritual path are also connected to a greater motive—a deeper calling.

What we need to do is learn how to bring that higher motivation forth. To bring it front and center. To be beholden to it. To anchor ourselves in it. So that we can begin to go beyond the other drive that’s also operating, and stretch beyond what we currently find motivating.

The question here is: What is the biggest context and motive you can connect to?

Or to put it another way: What’s the deepest reason—or set of reasons—why your spiritual practice truly matters to you? And can you connect with that as the anchor for your path?

There might be many things that arise, so don’t try to distill it into a single, succinct statement. Just let it flow. Let yourself feel into it.

In connecting with this greater vision and deeper motivation, you don’t have to pretend that self-interest isn’t part of your spiritual path. We’re all, to some extent, motivated by self-interest—things we hope to gain from this journey. So we’re not bypassing that truth, and we’re certainly not rejecting it.

But allow yourself to be lifted above it. Let yourself connect with that which is so much bigger.

What is the context of ultimate significance that’s truly pulling you forward on the path?

Some Examples of Higher Drives

Here are a few examples of much greater possibility:

1. Being in service to something greater
2. Being an example or a model of something much bigger
3. Adding momentum to a movement in consciousness beyond you
4. Being the change
5. Being part of the solution
6. Allowing greater enlightened consciousness to find a home in this world
7. Being a vessel through which it can flow

Whatever is true for you now, because this can evolve, too.

It’s not necessary to complete this now. Whatever has come forth at this point—whatever feels deep, true, and significant for you—just allow yourself to become anchored in that. Settle into it as your true motivation for the spiritual path, the real reason you’re doing this.

Let yourself feel it in your whole body, in your whole being, as what is most deeply true. Let it stand as your most important reason, your clearest intention, your deepest motive.

And from here, allow yourself to stand in it, to anchor in it. Let it become the ground you stand on.

You can begin to release any other motivations, any smaller concerns. Not by rejecting them, but simply letting them fall into the background—less urgent, less defining. They’re all still there.

The Beauty of Allowing Your Life to be About One Thing

It’s just not the main event anymore. You’re allowing one thing to come to the center—one thing to become the main event. Your North Star. Something you can focus on and give your heart to.

There’s a beautiful simplicity in letting your life be about one thing. And it doesn’t mean all the other things go away.

But in the end, we come to know: My life is about this one thing. And I’m giving my whole life to it.

And in doing so, I trust that if I give myself fully to this one thing, then all things needful will be taken care of. The rest will naturally fall into alignment around it. What truly needs attention will be included within that commitment.

I don’t need to worry about the rest.

I just need to give my whole heart to this—to this one thing that matters beyond all other things for reasons I may not fully understand, but can sense.

And I’m going to allow myself the freedom to live a single-pointed life, aimed at the ultimate North Star.

And in that, I trust I’ll find my way through all the rest.

I think with that, I want to bring this to a close and invite you to simply stay with it. Sit with it.

Be interested in how anchoring in this deeper motivation might begin to shift the way you relate to all kinds of things. Not by trying to force anything. Not by trying to make some big shift in motivation happen.

Just returning to this. Reflecting on it. Anchoring in it.

Noticing what it’s like to let this kind of simplicity begin to reorganize your life and your practice. And seeing how it may even begin to change your approach to meditation—if it does.